Mom pressures mother-in-law to leave her teaching job of 13 years because she doesn't want her son in her kindergarten class: 'She asked me to move positions or to retire'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 15, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

When it comes to in-laws, there are big asks and small asks. A small ask might be asking your mother-in-law to watch your son for a few hours while you go to a job interview in the city. A small ask does not entail asking your mother-in-law to switch jobs or retire early so her son doesn't have to be in his grandmother's Kindergarten class at a private school. That is not only a big ask, but it is also a ridiculous ask. And yet, it is the ask that a teacher was asked by her daughter-in-law. The public schools in their area were not the most well-regarded, so this mom decided to apply for private kindergarten at the school where her mother-in-law teaches Kindergarten. She's the only Kindergarten teacher at the school, guaranteeing her grandson would be in her class. When her daughter-in-law learned her son would be in his grandma's class, she did whatever it took to stop it. 

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  • 01
    u/Pure-Main-4148 • 1d AITA for refusing to retire or move teaching spots and telling my DIL to it up
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 02
    I am a teacher at a private school. The public school in the surrounding areas are . I have been working there for 13 years and I should retire soon. Probably in five years. I have a few grandkids but this is about Ryan and her mother Jenny.
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 03
    Jenny and I do not get along. We avoid each-other at family events and just try to be civil. I find her to be extremely entitled and I am sure she has plenty to say about me. I teach kindergarten and since the private school is small we have a single class. You have to apply for the school. The school plans to expand but right now it is small. So I teach all of them.
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 04
    Jenny informed me that they applied and Ryan is suppose to start next fall. He will be in my class, and Jenny wasn't okay with that. She asked me to move positions or to retire. I told her no and this started an argument. She doesn't want me to teach Ryan and I told her to it up or not go to the school.
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 05
    She called me a apologize and my son wishes for me to
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 06
    NTA Jane Doe_83. 1d Aficionado [15] She applied to the school knowing there was one class and that you were the teacher? Now she's trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants, regardless of what you want. That's a no from me. She can either withdraw the application and send Ryan elsewhere, or she can put on her big girl and accept that you'll be Ryan's teacher. Tell it up, buttercup". She can like it or lump it. her What is it exactly that your son wants you to apologise for? Being the te
    via u/JaneDoe_83
  • 07
    shawna_of_the_dead ⚫ 1d This!! NTA AT ALL! She obviously didn't have good intentions through any of this. She knew what she was and is doing, and it's not fair for OP in any way. Stand your ground! ... 2.2k
    via u/shawna_of_the_dead
  • 08
    Sweet-Fancy-Moses23 23h I find her to be extremely entitled We all do! The audacity of her to demand your resignation. "You don't like me teaching my grandchild? Go find another school!". Your son is also an AH expecting you to apologise. ↑ 801
    via u/Sweet-Fancy-Moses23
  • 09
    Anianna 1d • Partassipant [1] I can't agree more. "I'm putting my son in your school where you are the only teacher for his grade, but I don't want you to teach him. You need to change jobs or retire." Yea, that is definitely a new level of entitled. Son must be on a short leash if he's cool with enabling that. ✩ 1.1k
    via u/Anianna
  • 10
    agog Kiwi 23h The OP should retire, after her son gifts her 5 years of salary and the cost of benefits, up front. Once the money is in her bank she can quit, but mentally won't be ready for retirement, so she should volunteer as an aid for the kindergarten class. And if that works out, she can volunteer for first grade next year. ... 721
    via u/agogKiwi
  • 11
    Zufa_Cenva • 20h Seriously, can't believe she had the audacity to request this of OP. I'd keep an eye out in case DIL tries to get OP fired. 88
    via u/Zufa_Cenva
  • 12
    Environmental_Art591 • 17h Yeah, definitely give the school a heads up like "I'm happy to teach Ryan, and there is no problem on my end. However, Jen is already demanding that I quit before the school year has even started because she refuses to have me teach Ryan. I have no intentions on quitting my job and I worry she may try to get me fired. I don't want Ryan punished for her mothers actions, just to let you know Jen might make false accusations." ... 225
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 13
    asecretnarwhal • 23h Enthusiast [8] This is straight up ridiculous. If she is so opposed to you teaching her daughter, she can apply for private school for 1st grade or it up. To make a private dislike into an attempt to remove you from your job is unacceptable behavior. You've taught there a long time and I'm assuming that the school is happy with you. So if she tries to escalate this, I would ask the school to rescind her acceptance. That's not the behavior of a sane parent 198
    via u/asecretnarwhal
  • 14
    JaneDoe_83 • 22h Aficionado [15] If she's so opposed to her child being taught by OP, she should never have even applied to the school. OP has been there for 13 years, so one doubts that it's a big secret where they work. This reeks of entitlement, but also petulance and future backstabbing. Imagine OP has to discipline Ryan. DIL will go to the school saying that it's a personal affront and is only because of OP's dislike of DIL as a person. This is only a preview of the things yet to come, IMO.
    via u/JaneDoe_83
  • 15
    Ready-Replacement181 • 1d Enthusiast [8] Why does she not want you to teach her child? Edited for judgement: NTA, she can't dictate to people. She sounds like major nutcase. Reply 2.7k
    via u/Ready-Replacement181
  • 16
    Pure-Main-4148 OP 1d • She didn't give me a reason, just kept saying that I can't. I know it's not my teaching abilities. 2.3k
    via u/Pure-Main-4148
  • 17
    whatsmypassword73 • 1d Craptain [153] NTA, LOL, unless the Men in Black rolled past and did the light trick on her, she knew it was your school. She can it up and he can go, or she can it up and pick another school. Huh, I wonder why you don't love her company? She sounds like a true delight, like finding half a caterpillar in your salad. Reply 1.4k
    via u/whatsmypassword73
  • 18
    NTA mjrkcolemom14 • 1d Your son and DIL need to realize that you do not cater to their every whim. They can't send their kid to a public school and dictate which teacher their child gets, even less so with a private school. They both knew before applying to the school that you were the only kindergarten teacher. They have no right to demand you to step aside, just because they don't want you teaching their child. I can almost guarantee you that your grandchild will be the most popular kid in you
    via u/mjrkcolemom14
  • 19
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